Oh Serena Williams, let me count the ways:

1. Because she won two Wimbledon championships this past Saturday (the singles title in the early afternoon, then the doubles title six hours later with her sister Venus) at 30 years old, in a way that makes it clear she will still be winning it when she’s 73.

2.  Because she and Venus got to the top without going through the national junior tennis circuit, which until they proved otherwise was the only way to develop elite U.S. players.  Their father pulled them out of the circuit because of the racist crap other parents were saying to his daughters during the tournaments.

3. For how she saves the inappropriate, blow your top anger for the appropriate occasion.  I don’t condone threats of violence against wee little bespectacled line judges,but if you really must tell someone you would like to cram a tennis ball down their throat,

there is no better reason than because they just messed up a call on match point down at the 2009 U.S. Open semi-finals.

4. Because she has the most spectacularly amazing glutes, which generate the power behind a 128 mph serve that gave her 102 aces this Wimbledon. Those glutes apparently freaked out Topspin 4’s executives so much they pulled this commercial for being too…much.

5. For how she and Venus understand the long game of a boycott. This was the 11th year of the sisters’ boycott of Indian Wells, after an injured Venus pulled out of a semi-final match against Serena, to which fans responded by booing and yelling racial slurs at Serena during the finals.

6. The catsuit. The shoe-boots.

7. For how she and Venus have each others’ back, always. Even when they’re playing against each other.

8. But most of all, we must all love Serena because she has made it through 17 years of professional tennis with flair and panache, breaking both the written and unwritten rules, making the denizens of that uber-white & uptight world a little afraid of her and wishing she would just go away. Which she hasn’t. For which we’re grateful.

So oh you fabulous queerfitters, go be so fantastically awesome today that you make the stiffs around you uncomfortable and wishing you would go away.  Then put on your catsuit, flex your glutes, and be Serena.