56 years ago Monday, the first Barbie doll was displayed at the American Toy Fair in New York City. I intended a long-ish post listing all the why’s and wherefore’s of what’s wrong with Barbies. Then I learned from the History Channel that Barbie is based on a “racy gag gift to adult men in tobacco shops…[that] became extremely popular with children.”

I’ll just leave that there.

Let us take our revenge with the following Monday challenge:

10 weighted squats (something heavy hugged up against your chest, or 105# front squats if you have access to a barbell)
5 tuck jumps (jump high!)
10 pushups
5 tuck jumps

Four rounds.

The first round is for smashing the patriarchy that figured out how to get mothers to buy grown men’s sexual fantasies for their little girls to play with. The second round is for smashing the white supremacy that has children of all races preferring white dolls to brown dolls. The third round is for smashing the heterosexism that has kept something as ridiculous as the Ken doll in production (though the gay designers at Mattel once managed to slip through Earring Magic Ken). The last round is for smashing the sexism of a 16 inch waist – enough room for half a liver.

If you’re feeling peppy after all that smashing, do one more round to smash the capitalism that makes this all possible.

Smash away, good people, smash away!