I have cancer. The pink kind.

It’s invasive, like a Viking, but not too aggressive. A stoned Viking. A cluster of stoned Vikings in pink tutus, broken through my milk duct and mounting an exceedingly desultory attack on my left breast. They’re not even attacking, even – mostly they’re milling around foraging for snacks.

Still, they’re Vikings.

When my doctor called to tell me, my first thought was, I better get a lot of free shit for this. My second: The free shit will all be crap. I turned to the internet. A quick search for long-term survival rates showed this is not going to kill me. A longer – alright, hours long – search for free stuff offered up scarves, teddy bears and robes galore. Also, free make-up, wigs and makeovers. Not a free tweed vest or bow-tie to be found in all of Cancerland.

Cancerland is what Barbara Ehrenreich called the ubiquitous, infantalizing world of pink she fell into when she had breast cancer in 2001. Twenty years earlier, when Audre Lorde had been diagnosed with the disease she chronicled in Cancer Journals, breast cancer was the opposite of ubiquitous. It was invisible. Now in October 2015, it being National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, breast cancer is not just ubiquitous; it’s friggin’ relentless.

Fear not – I’m not going to add to the onslaught by blogging daily on this page about my little cluster of stoned, pink tutu-ed Vikings. But I wanted to say “I have cancer” out loud, and I wanted to kvetch a little.

If you want something on the daily that is decidedly not pink, remember that our daily workouts have migrated to the Queerfit ATL page. If you want to join me as I prepare for a bilateral mastectomy by doing a lot of push-ups and eating greens every day, just ask to join the group and we’ll load you in.

I may come back here once in a while to think out loud about how I’m doing in Cancerland 2015. In the meantime, push-ups and greens, friends. And send over leads on any good, non-pink free shit.